Life - A Challenge?

I want to be the best is not good enough for me. I believe that I have to be best. This is my soul belief about life. Life never gives a tough challenge to face. Instead it needs a correct tactics and mind-set to be tackled upon. When I was in class II, my teacher addressing us told, "Be the best in whatever field you choose. If you want to be a scientist, be like Sir C. V. Raman. If you want to be a dancer, be like Michael Jackson. If want to be a chef, be like Sanjeev Kapoor. If you want to be a painter, be like Husain. Always keep my words in your mind whenever you go out in the world. It will always help you to keep your head high". I do not remember his name or his face. I remember nothing about that school. But those words of his, I shall never forget. I realised the importance of those words when I was in class IX. It has taught me how to survive in the world. I decided to focus on my academics and be the best in my field. But those who have never understood these words, shall never be able to enjoy the life. He shall always remain unable to understand the depth of God's creation. Life is what you make it. Believe I go for mine and I got to shine'. The best things in life are free. Go ahead and switch your style up. Listen to your heart. Then only your life would be able to live to your exception.

A college love story

 

I love cold winter nights. I often wear a warm jacket, slowly roaming amidst the fog and enjoying the cool breeze on my face. Today was the same except for the fact that I had company. Or rather, I would say ‘The Company,’ something everyone desires. ‘Yes,’ I had found the person who was meant for me, my stronghold, my motivation, my love. She looked so beautiful, with the moonlight falling soberly on her face. Her skin glowed, and her nose and cheeks were red because of the cold. And she spoke endlessly. She liked telling stories, sometimes romantic ones, but often scary ones. She felt deep joy in scaring the shit out of me so that I would slumber in her arms and not leave her side at night. Yes, I was the little scaredy cat; she was the nightingale. 

“I'll tell you a love story that happened in my college. It's a classic one, just like Romeo and Juliet or The Notebook—and it has everything: good looks, brains and beauty.”

And there we go, another story. I was overjoyed as I was spared from another sleepless scary night. But then again, I was looking for another excuse to keep cuddling her.

“We were students at Delhi University. My friend had been dating his girlfriend, who was also a student there, for 2 years now and she had the most attractive face of all the girls in the class.”

MY (NEW) BEST FRIEND

 

I decided to shift to Karol Bagh in the pursuit of my dreams. I wanted to crack UPSC, proclaimed to be the toughest exam in India. I knew I can do it. I had in it. Aman also said that I have in me what it takes to become a successful IAS officer. The way I want to help others, always made him fall in love with him. Anyways, I am again friends with Aman now. I think he is good only as a friend. As a boyfriend, he just cares a lot and doesn’t understand me even a single bit.

So to pursue my dreams, I enrolled myself in one of the premier institutes for UPSC and started attending classes. Aman would wake me up every morning. He would help me with my schedule for the day. I just can’t believe him. He went through each and every small detail required for UPSC and even enrolled himself in some online coaching just to help me in my weak subjects. He had no intentions of becoming an IAS officer.

What a girl wants from a relationship?

The coin always has two sides. I don’t want to be biased telling the story only from my perspective. So, from here on, the story will be from Priya’s perspective.

I proposed to him one month back while he was returning from Delhi. I thought that he could truly understand me always. But boys do change after they get the girl. He visited Delhi again. He had some office work here in Delhi. He arrived last Monday. I didn’t know that he had planned to propose to me in the most romantic way of all. I didn’t know that he is such a good dancer and would propose me in slow motion, gently walking down the corridor and getting on his knees. That was truly romantic. But he just killed the mood after that when he made so much fuss because while making the proposal acceptance speech, I addressed him as Raj instead of Aman. He should understand that Raj was my past and I am over him now.

I DON’T THINK THAT ANYONE CAN UNDERSTAND ME THE WAY YOU DO

 

There are always two reasons for the breakup, first is the girl’s ugly, single, fat friend, who would have never dated anyone in her life but decides to give your girlfriend the best relationship advice ever, and second is the girl’s best friend, who always leaves no opportunities missed to manipulate and convince your girlfriend that her boyfriend is a complete dickhead and she deserves someone better who can care for her as he does. But for me, it was both. This story turns ugly from here on. And watch how both the forces play their part.

It had been 2 hours since I landed in Delhi. Priya was supposed to come and pick me up from the airport. It was my first time meeting her after 6 years. I collected my baggage from belt number 5 and made myself comfortable on a bench while I was browsing my Instagram waiting for her. She was late.

I DON’T RESPECT YOU BECAUSE YOU DON’T HAVE ANY SELF-RESPECT

Six months had passed since I got blocked. But never a single day had passed where I did not check her DP from my friend’s phone. I still missed her. All the late-night talks, our random conversations, her voice, her laughs, her smile, were all just imprinted in my mind. Everything reminded me of her.

It was a long weekend. My friends were making plans to go to a beach. I was also very excited to go. But beneath that excitement and joy, there were tears of sadness, hoping if Priya could have joined me for this trip. Of course, she loved beaches. Although she loved mountains more, beaches were also equally desirable. I was missing her badly. It is strange how just 2 months of conversation can leave an impression on the mind, which just wouldn’t wane off even after six months. 

We had packed all our bags, we had to leave tomorrow morning. We had to sleep early today. As soon as I switched off the lights, I could hear my roommate snoring. How can someone fall asleep just moments after lying on the bed? I was pondering over the same thoughts, suddenly my phone rang. I was startled. 

Partly because I was not expecting a call this late in the night, and partly because it was Priya. She had called me. After months of waiting, perhaps she realized my importance. She has begun to love me a little, I thought. I picked up the call and ran out of the room. I didn’t want my roommate's snores to disturb our privacy. 

DO I KNOW YOU?

“But do I know you?” I simply asked her, rolling another joint, waiting for her to formulate her reply.

“Of course, you didn’t remember. Because unlike you, I was not a topper (with 2 angry emoji)”. How would I even remember, I was still busy becoming the CEO of Samsung. And immediately there was a call on messenger, with its soft soothing tone, that would make even a dead person point a gun at you. Reluctantly, I picked up the call, again asking the same question, do I know you?

“Do you remember the tallest girl in your class, who was always into basketball?” I still had no fucking clue. I was about to cut the call still thinking of it as a prank. Then suddenly she said, I used to write poetry in Hindi for the school magazine. And finally, I achieved Nirvana. This hot girl was real. I was a fan of her poetry. Of course, she was real. This was not a prank. I was left totally flabbergasted. What should I say next? I did not even remember her a minute ago.

PS. I LOVE YOU

 

It took me more than a year to recover from this one. Or perhaps, just what I would say to convince myself. I thought that I am over her, but still looking at that photo frame, hidden secretly inside my closet, with me and Priya holding hands and smiling, would make me go into those endless thoughts of the beautiful moments that we had. Probably, what my current girlfriend said, that I still loved her, before dumping me, seems to be the undaunted truth that would continue to haunt me my entire life.

No one understood me the way she did. How she could perfectly understand by my mere Hello!!, that something is not okay, and would do her best to cheer me up. She was the only one who understood the void inside of me. She was the person I truly loved, the only girl in my life, I considered having a future with, my Priya.

कटु सत्य के समक्ष मैं !

मिथ्या के व्यापार में हो रहा नग्न सत्य है 

लगा रहा गुहार काल आज विकल न्याय की 

लो आज खड़ी कटु सत्य के समक्ष मैं 

मॄदुस्वपनों के ओसारे पर अश्लीलता का ताण्डव है 

कर्तव्य पथ पर हाकिमों की निकली झाँकियाँ तहकीकात की 

आत्मविश्वास की लौ लिये डगमगाती सत्य की जिरह में 

लो आज खड़ी कटु सत्य के समक्ष मैं 

शत्रुओं की कुत्सित सोच को खोभ रही शीलता के शूल से 

खंगाल रही मैली समाज को स्वानुभव के प्रवाह में 

लो आज खड़ी कटु सत्य के समक्ष मैं 

विचारों के उफान में अधीर हूँ पतवार की तलाश में 

कब तलक मरती कटती जलती रहेंगी मसॄण कलियाँ 

लो आज खड़ी कटु सत्य के समक्ष मैं 

ऐ राजा तुम अपना मुकुट उतार दॄष्टि को विस्तार दो

वो राज्य-साम्राज्य क्या जिसमें फूल-कलियाँ  रौंदी गयी

तेरे राह में बिछ जाएँगे कल काँटों के गलीचे जब 

लहू-लुहान तेरे पाँव होंगे 

तब न दोष देना नन्हीं रूह को 

-अनिन्द्या राॅय

सन्तान सुख

अमित पूरे रास्ते अपने माता-पिता पर झुंझलाता  रहा "क्या लग रखा था.. जो आप लोगों ने प्रिंसिपल के पांव ही पकड़ लेते तो। कोई देख तो नहीं रहा था। सृजन के माता-पिता को देखें कितने समझदार और अपने बेटे के शुभचिंतक है। उनके पांव पकड़ लेने से प्रिंसिपल किस तरह पिघल गया और अगली गलती नहीं होने के शर्त पर बख्श दिया। और आप दोनों मुंह लटकाए ऐसे खड़े रहे जैसे बेटे ने किसी का मर्डर कर दिया हो रेप कर दिया हो। अरे जरा सा हंस नैंसी को किस किया। उसे किसने किसने किया होगा। पर साली.. हमसे क्या दुश्मनी थी कि प्रिंसिपल तक पहुंच गई। नहीं तो इस घटना को कोई जानता भी नहीं।पर अब यह टर्मीनेशन पेपर लेकर घूमते रहिए स्कूल स्कूल और दाखिले के लिए हाथ जोड़ते चलिए।


मीना और उसके पति को समझ में नहीं आ रहा था कि क्या बोले इस बेटे को। जो इच्छा किया उसे खिलाया, पिलाया, पहनाया। और अब इसकी गलतियों के लिए माफी मांगे। पांव पकड़े। यही संतान सुख है।

मीना न पति की ओर देख पा रही थी न पति मीना की ओर। हजारों मन्नतोंके बाद अमित गोद में आया था। मीना को प्रसन्न पुलकित देख पति भी खुश थे। पर आज..... एक दूसरे को सांत्वना देने लायक भी नहीं थे। मीना जानती है उसके पति कितने स्वाभिमानी है। पूरे विभाग में ईमानदारी और कर्मठता के मिसाल है। आज उनका प्यारा पुत्र उनकी आत्मा पर कैसे लात मार रहा है और वह कैसे सहने की कोशिश कर रहे हैं।

बेबसी

स्याह अंधेरी रात थी..एक हल्की सी आहट हुई ..
दिल में एक घबराहट थी..
घड़ी की सुई टिक-टिक कर आगे बढ़ रही थी ..
मैं अब भी उन लम्हों के बिच उलझी हुई थी..सोच रही थी.. मेरा दिल तो एक सारय था..मुसाफ़िर आये ..रात बिताये ..आगे बढ़ गये
पर मैं अब भी उस विरानियत में .. कुछ पल संजो रही थी
अंधरे में कुछ तो ढूंढ रही थी..
घड़ी की सुई अब भी टिक-टिक कर रही थी ..मानो कह रही हो आगे बढ़ जा..
पर मैं ज़िद्द पे अड़ी हुई
फिर अपनी खोज में भिड़ जाती हूँ
शायद कही तो रौशनी होगी
हर तरफ छान मारती हूँ
तभी दरवाज़े पे ठक-ठक की आवाज़ होती है
शायद कोई तो था..
तभी दिल ठिठटकता है ..मुझे रोकता है ..अब और नहीँ
धीरे-धीरे ठक-ठक की आवाज़ भी धुँधला जाती है...
तब तक एक माचिस की तिली हाथ लगती है..
किसी तरह जलाने की कोशिश करती हूँ...
अचानक रौशनी से कोठरी जगमगा उठती है ..पर .. ये क्या सब-कुछ कोयले सा जल रहा होता है .. मैं आग के बिच ..चीख निकलने को होती है...फिर दिल एक सवाल  करता है ...किसे पुकारना चाहती हो...
घड़ी की सुइयां अब भी टिक-टिक कर रही होती है .. मानो हँस रही हो मेरी बेबसी पर ...

कहवात है आग में जल कर सोना कुंदन बनता है ...
पर सच तो ये भी है उसी आग में लोहा पिघलता भी है ।।

भगवान के पैसे!

सब बच्चे मैदान से खेल कर चले गए पर रघु नहीं गया। वह जाना ही नहीं चाहता था। घर की हालत याद कर उसकी आँखें भर आई। बाउजी का बुखार उतर नहीं रहा था। रिक्शा बंद है। दिन में मां कहीं कुछ लाकर बनाकर खिला कर देती है, पर रात को सबको भूखे ही सोना पड़ता है। आज भी घर जाकर क्या होगा? दादी के खिटोले में भूखे ही धंस जाना होगा। पेट दुखता है तो नींद भी नहीं आती है।

मैदान के बीचों-बीच एक मंदिर था। रघु सोचा चलो भगवान को हाथ जोड़कर विनती कर ले शायद वही सब कुछ ठीक कर दे। हाथ जोड़े प्रार्थना किया। तभी उसे शिवलिंग के आस-पास एक-दो-पाँच आदि के सिक्के बिखरे दिखे। वह कुछ सोचा और सारे सिक्के उठा लिए। कुल छब्बीस रुपए थे।

घर जाकर सीधा माँ के पास गया बोला आज भरपेट खाना दो पैसे लो और राशन लाओ। माँ ने पूछा "पैसे कहां से लाए?" पहले बोला किसी ने दिया है। फिर सोचा झूठ क्यों बोलूं? बता दिया कि यह भगवान के पैसे हैं। मां समझ गई की कल गांव में कोहराम मचेगा। मार ही ना डाले गांव वाले। फिर सोचा यूं भी मर ही रहे हैं, वैसे भी मरेंगे। खाना बना सब ने खाया।

सुबह गांव वाले पुरोहित को साथ लिए दरवाजे पर डंडे पटकते गरजने लगे। रघु को पुरोहित खींचकर दना-दन थप्पड़ लगाने लगा। "साला नीच कहीं का भगवान के भी पैसे चुराने लगा।" रघु पिटता रहा। वह कहना चाहता था पर बोल नहीं पा रहा "आप रोज भगवान के पैसे लेते हो, एक दिन.... ।"

संतुष्टि!

चाट के ठेले को चारों और बूढ़े-बच्चे-सयाने घेरे हुए थे। चार कदम आगे पांच-छ: साल के बच्चे को घसीटती स्त्री जा रही थी। बच्चा मुड़ मुड़ कर पीछे देखता और रोता चिल्लाता स्त्री को ही घसीटने की कोशिश कर रहा था। स्त्री कभी अपना पल्लू संभालती कभी बच्चे को पकड़े ढीले पड़ते पंजे को कसती।

घसीटा-घसीटी में बच्चे के एक पावँ का चप्पल टूट गया, जिसे बच्चे ने घुमा कर फेंक दिया। फिर और जोर से रोने लगा। मुझसे रहा ना गया। आगे बढ़कर पूछ ही दिया बच्चे को क्यों इस तरह घसीट रही हो? यह क्या चाहता है? तनिक सकुचाते  हुए उस स्त्री ने कहा "बाबा दस रूपये ही है मेरे पास और यह गोलगप्पे खाने की जिद्द कर रहा है।

"खिला देती बच्चा है।"

"झुंझलाती हुई स्त्री ने कहा कि यही एक बच्चा मेरा नहीं है दो और हैं दस रूपये का आटा ले जाऊंगी तो सबके पेट भरेंगे। मैंने बच्चे का हाथ पकड़ा और गोलगप्पे की ओर बढ़ा। बच्चा गोलगप्पे खाते हुए सब भूल गया। तीखेपन से होठ सिकोड़ते अपार संतुष्टि से मेरी ओर देखा और मुस्कुराया।